Author Archive for chuckbutt

Why Can’t I Own a Canadian

Published by chuckbutt on July 20, 2007 in Religion. 0 Comments

I have seen this letter a few times over the past few months, but just came across it again via a StumbleUpon (Thanks PassionatePuppy!). I have no idea whether it’s real or not (too lazy to look at snopes.com), but it has some very interesting points about the bible and all of its contradictions. Here’s the text from PassionatePuppy’s StumbleUpon page:

Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

I must admit I’ve never read the bible (and don’t intend to), but the contradictions I see from most religions is amazing.  There’s a reason I’m not affiliated with any religion - they are all messed up!  I can’t believe their stances on all kinds of issues - homosexuality, abortion, women’s rights, bingo, etc.  I’m just glad I’m a godless heathen.

Demetri Martin - Very Funny Chart Comedian

Published by chuckbutt on July 14, 2007 in Entertainment and Fun Stuff. 0 Comments

I just came across this guy while using Stumble Upon. Very funny stuff. Enjoy!

Art Snobs and Interpretation

Published by chuckbutt on June 26, 2007 in Fun Stuff. 0 Comments

This is a great joke a friend of mine sent me recently.  Thought you might enjoy it…

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a  park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink Willie.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.  He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of blackmen in a predominately white, patriarchal society.

“In fact, “he pointed out, “some serious crtics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.”

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, “Would you like to know what the painting is really about?”

“Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?” asked the couple.

“Because I’m the guy who painted it,” he replied.

“In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They’re just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.”

Inside the Monkeysphere

Published by chuckbutt on June 8, 2007 in Family and Friends, Personal, Politics and Law, Religion and SciTech. 0 Comments

I just found this great blog post about the “Monkeysphere.”  In his “Pointless Waste of Time” blog, David Wong talks about our incapacity to think of other humans beyond our direct sphere of 150 people.  Based on Darwinian biology, humans are incapable of thinking of other people as individuals beyond the 150 or so people we know directly.  That’s how we can say things like, “Man, I really hate that group of people (insert derogatory term of your choice).”

Basically, the post is a call to stop thinking of people in terms of stereotypes, and try to bring our thinking of people beyond our spheres of influence as individuals.  I’m sure there are plenty of people who think I’m a jerk, but I’ve caught myself ranting about some faceless driver on the highway in a way that I would never even consider if I was sitting across a table from them.

Here’s the link:

Inside the Monkeysphere

Linking Photos for Virtual Tours

Published by chuckbutt on June 4, 2007 in Business, Fun Stuff and SciTech. 0 Comments

Andy Grant from afgrant.com sent me a link to a video about Photosynth - a new tool from Microsoft’s Blaise Aguera y Arcas - that hyperlinks photos from across the Internet to allow virtual tours with rich relevance for different places.  Sounds confusing, but think of it this way…

This software will search photo sharing sites for photos tagged with the same place names.  For example, in this YouTube video, it pastes together a bunch of photos of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome to give a virtual tour of the site from a ton of different angles and perspectives.  Check out the video first:

Next, here’s a link to Blaise speaking at the TED conference on the same software.  This video is a bit longer, but it has some very interesting ideas on how this could be used for advertising or marketing.

Made Me Bust Out Laughing

Published by chuckbutt on May 31, 2007 in Entertainment and Fun Stuff. 0 Comments

I’ve been a bit down the past few days, but this video made me bust out laughing:

 

It’s from Billy Reid at VeryTasteful.com. He also did the “White Chicks and Gang Signs” video here on the chuckbutt blog. You should definitely check out his stuff… I think he’s going places!

 

Why I Love Douglas Adams

Published by chuckbutt on May 14, 2007 in Entertainment, Fun Stuff and Personal. 0 Comments

Here are a couple of quotes I ran across by Douglas Adams, author of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” books. Running across these quotes reminded me of what an incredible wit he possessed, and the gratitude I have for his sharing it with the world through his writing. If you haven’t read any of his books, you’ve missed out.

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.

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He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife.

Douglas Adams

Take some time out of your boring, sedentary life to enjoy the absurdity of the universe with Douglas Adams. You’ll thank me (or you won’t), and you’ll enjoy more than a few laughs at the expense of our futile, thrilling, wonderful existence.